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The Episodes

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Welcome, dear friends, to the grand unveiling of "How to Become a Total Failure," a uniquely crafted audio experience that's sure to tickle your fancy and pique your curiosity. This interactive radio play, presented in glorious high-definition sound, offers an unconventional path to self-improvement.

 

Each of the 10 episodes in this mini-series, masterfully produced by our diverse virtual team, guides you down the winding road to a purposeless and solitary existence - all with a dash of irony, of course.



Introduction

Burdened with friends? Stuck in joy? How to Become a Total Failure offers 10 ironic steps to a meaningless life—painfully solitary, accidentally useful, and dangerously close to… happiness.  

 

🟣 Apple Podcasts

🟢 Spotify

🟡 Spreaker



Episode 1

Armed with guilt, it’s time to dive into five top tactics for cultivating a richly negative mindset—emotional acrobatics guaranteed. Let the self-sabotage begin!  

 

🟣 Apple Podcasts

🟢 Spotify

🟡 Spreaker



Episode 2

This episode serves up more juicy gems of negative thinking—perfect for days when your inner gloom needs a creative boost. Ready to explore the full technicolor spectrum of self-sabotage?  

 

🟣 Apple Podcasts

🟢 Spotify

🟡 Spreaker



Episode 3

In this episode, we dive into the art of clinging to the past—fueling self-pity, dodging the present, and resisting healing with flair. Who needs closure, anyway?  

 

🟣 Apple Podcasts

🟢 Spotify

🟡 Spreaker



Episode 4

Today’s episode celebrates the fine art of scorning the present—where wealth, fame, talent, and beauty become fuel for your perfectly miserable life. Let the vintage self-sabotage begin!  

 

🟣 Apple Podcasts

🟢 Spotify

🟡 Spreaker



Episode 5

In this episode, you’ll learn to weaponize your fears and push people away with flair—because nothing says “growth” like marinating in your own handcrafted despair.  

 

🟣 Apple Podcasts

🟢 Spotify

🟡 Spreaker



Episode 6

Congrats—you’re halfway there! Last episode, you began crafting your masterpiece of rejection. Rich or broke, stunning or average—this strategy works 24/7. Ready for some juicy examples?  

 

🟣 Apple Podcasts

🟢 Spotify

🟡 Spreaker



Episode 7

Today’s episode dives into the fine art of self-isolation: suspect your coworkers, chase phantom whispers, and let mistrust bloom. Paranoia, after all, is just misunderstood awareness.  

 

🟣 Apple Podcasts

🟢 Spotify

🟡 Spreaker



Episode 8

Today, discover how to turn rejection into your superpower—quitting your job, ghosting loved ones, and embracing peak-level solitude like a true master of self-sabotage.  

 

🟣 Apple Podcasts

🟢 Spotify

🟡 Spreaker



Episode 9

If you’ve followed along, it’s time for the grand finale: alienate the last few stragglers and finally revel in the sweet, solitary bliss of fully earned self-pity.  

 

🟣 Apple Podcasts

🟢 Spotify

🟡 Spreaker



Episode 10

Congratulations! You’ve reached the peak of personal misery—jobless, friendless, and free to wallow 24/7 in betrayal, guilt, and the sweet echo of your self-fulfilling prophecy.  

 

🟣 Apple Podcasts

🟢 Spotify

🟡 Spreaker